Pursuing a Persona

When I started finding my voice in the wrestling community I began arguing the differences between what makes a good villain or hero, heel or face. A villain has to be able to talk trash while backing up those words with actions that involve dominance or simply winning. A hero, on the other hand, can't be overpowered, but has to connect to the audience in a way that makes us care about them on a personal level. Unlike a villain, a hero doesn't have to win to stay credible, they just have to show the will to win and prove themselves to the audience that they have the heart and determination to keep fighting and someday overcome their foe. There is more pressure then on a heel character to follow through on their promises to beat down these valiant faces because they have taken the low road, or darker alley, to get their success. For this reasons, I was on the side of the heel in a lot of arguments.

When I started creating characters, alter egos, for myself I tended to lean more towards the villain aspect. I didn't really like where my personas started going because I began using my personal feelings and inner 'rage' as inspiration which wasn't bringing out the best in my real life self. I started deviling in the hero genre and found that it was much easier starting a story from where my life was currently and building on a 'struggle to the top' story line. Instead of creating a persona or character I started stretching out my own story by a few years, creating a better life for myself, and essentially wrote a fictional story about how I wanted my life to go in the next few years. This 'character' was me.

I was in junior year English when we had to come up with fictional stories about coming to America on the Mayflower, and one of the things we had to do was come up with a name. I researched English names from that period and came up with Jedediah Fitzner, thus creating my wrestling name or 'ring name' in the process. Putting a name to the story I had created would only help make what I imagined more real. I felt like this thing I had made up in my head was taking physical form around me, shaping me into something different. By creating this character to mirror my story and getting to find a creative name that clashed with my over bland one, I had found what would essentially be the one thing that got me through the horrors of life, a portal into another dimension, a time where I actually grabbed the proverbial reigns and chartered a new course for my life.

Jedediah Fitzner saved my life on several occasions over the years and while I, Andrew Smith, was struggling to keep myself alive, Fitzner was becoming a bonafide star in my wrestling universe. When friends and family weren't there for me Fitzner was by my side. Recently I decided to change my fictional name so it would be a little more connected to my real name so I went with Ramon FitzGerald, merging my middle name with the famous Welsh commander from the 12th century (I like history so it's less odd). Starting from the bottom with a whole new character I am excited to see how FitzGerald helps me cope with every day life in the future. Although I an starting a new chapter in my 'wrestling life', I am eternally great-full for Jedediah Fitzner and the life he saved in me.